A look at my mind and heart...

Dear _____,

I love you! Not in a friend or a sibling way, but I truly love you. I made a list of things I want in a guy and you fit it all. I didn't know my dream guy even existed until I met you. You have your flaws, like everyone does, but I still love you the same. You are perfectly imperfect to me. I've been hurt so many times by you, even though you don't do it intentionally or even know. I've cried countless tears over you, but I still love you so much. I know what love is now. I also know what it feels like to be in love with a guy that doesn't love me back. That's the hardest part. I wish you loved me back. I might not be your kind of "beautiful" on the outside, but I have so much to offer you. You say that true beauty comes from within, so why don't you practice what you preach and give me a chance. I've never felt this way about any other guy before. In all honesty, I am trying really hard to fall out of love with you. I'm done thinking about you 24/7 when I rarely cross your mind. I think the worst part about all of this is seeing you like another girl. Maybe I'm in love with who I think you are, but actually who you aren't in real life. I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at myself for falling in love with someone I didn't even have a chance with. I pray for you a lot. I pray that you will still have a burning passion for Jesus, use your talent to bring glory to God, and that you'll follow His path for you. I want you to be happy though. Since I love you, I'm letting you go, so you can be with someone who truly makes you happy. One day I hope you wake up and realize you want to be with me. If that doesn't happen, I wish you the best. God bless you and keep you always. I love you!

~ Christina <3

Imperfections

Everyone has imperfections. Many of us strive to get rid of them and become perfect. Perfection is something we can't achieve because we're humans. Imperfections are something we can't avoid, so why not make the best  of them?

Last summer, I found out about the band Days Difference. I was listening to them in the car, when the song "Imperfections" came on. I was with my mom, who rarely listens to secular music. There's a line in the chorus that says "I'm not sorry for all my imperfections. I felt like I needed to explain the song to my mom, which I didn't, and then God started speaking through me. I spoke about how we have imperfections because we need God. If we were perfect and everything went right, then we wouldn't need God. Since we fall short of perfection, we need God to make things right. It made me realize that I'm not sorry about all my imperfections. I don't need to be perfect to be used by God, no one does. Jesus is perfect because He is God's son and washed away all of our sins at the cross.

I am constantly striving to be perfect, thinner, wanted, loved, accepted, beautiful, etc. We are all specially created in God's image and beautiful in God's eyes. There are many imperfections that I want to change about myself, but I can't do it alone. We all have to lean on Jesus to be made new everyday. We fail everyday, but we're extremely blessed to have such an amazing God that forgives us all the time. There's hope in Jesus that you can change and become the person God has created you to be. God bless you as you work on becoming a better person.

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!" - 2 Corinthians 5:17

Love Always,
Christina Sanger :) <3

P.S. Check out the song Imperfections by Days Difference here:
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?sk=lf#!/daysdifference?sk=app_178091127385

Romans 8:28

All things come together for good. Right? I'm pretty sure that 100% of you reading this have heard this. We don't think much about it, but we miss so much of the point. We take a Bible verse and only use half of it. Sadly, we tend to take out the most important part of it. The whole verse is "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." (NASB) Good things will come to those who believe in God. God loves each and every one of us and wants what's best for us, but we have to choose if we follow Him or not. When we choose to follow God, we open the door to receive the many blessings He gives to His people. I'm guilty of using these phrases without saying "for those who love God." I've said it to people who didn't believe in God. It took one of my friends mentioning it during a small group discussion, to make me realize that I was using a Bible verse out of context. I've become more aware of when I use that verse and make sure I use it as the full saying. Since God's ways are higher than our ways, it doesn't always seem like all things work together for good. We don't understand why we have to walk in valleys, where it doesn't seem like things will end up being good. We have to trust in God, knowing that He can do anything. Sometimes we have to go through dark times to find out more about who God wants us to be or to make us stronger. It might take a while to figure out why you had to go through the tough times, but it's rewarding in the end. For example, it took me a while to figure out why I had to go through all the things in my testimony. Now I use my testimony to help others who have encountered the same things. I don't live in so much fear anymore. God has shown me how He takes bad situations and turns them out for the better. God conquers all! If you are going through a tough time right now, surrender whatever it is to Him. He'll show you the good that will come out of it, for believing in Him. God bless!

Love Always,
Christina Sanger :) <3

Broken Dreams....

On my way home from Bible study at my college youth pastors' house, the song "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" by Green Day came on the radio. Yes, I do listen to the secular radio in the car a lot, but I also listen to Christian radio. As I was listening to this song, I was thinking about God. I've definitely have had my fair share of broken dreams, big and small. Yes, I've cried tears over them, but God has ALWAYS helped me through them.

When I was younger, I wanted and thought God wanted to be a Christian Singer. Puzzle pieces in my life were coming together. My first and last name translated is Christian Singer. One time I really wanted prayer for an anointing, so I talked to this guy at a conference. He started praying for me and than such a strong anointing came on. He started shaking uncontrollably, I thought he was going to fall. He stopped and said, "Whoa," and started crying. He finished praying and we were both crying. He was praying for my talent and songwriting skills. Even though it was amazing and I was really believing that this is what God had planned for my life, it wasn't. Now, I am a Hospitality major, focusing on event planning. God has confirmed that this is where I'm supposed to be and now I'm extremely happy about it. My dream job now would be planning events in the music industry and working with bands. At first, I was completely crushed about my dream falling apart and shed many tears. Now looking back, I think I'm more excited about this dream because it's where God wants me.

God helped me get through this tough time in my life and has me excited for the future. God's plan for us is usually not what we personally want, but it is ALWAYS better!! I've had many other broken dreams, some just happened recently. Some, I'm still confused about. The best thing anyone can do when their dreams are being crushed is turn to God and trust Him. He'll help you! <3

Jeremiah 29:11

God Bless!

Love,
Christina :) <3

Second Chance to Meet?

Have you ever seen someone in two different places? This just happened to me in the past couple of weeks. The most interesting part was the two places were in different states. On Wednesday, Dec. 28, I went to Dollywood with my grandparents, aunt, cousin, and brother. David (my brother) and I decided to go on the Dolly's tour bus. When you first get on the bus, you get your photo taken. We toured the bus and then left. We talked briefly with the photographer, but didn't think I would see him again. 5 days later at Passion 2011 in Atlanta, the guy, later known as Jeffrey, came up to my brother. Jeffrey has photographic memory and remembered seeing my brother. This is what their encounter somewhat looked like:

Jeffrey: You were at Dollywood on Wednesday.
David: Ummm. Yeah.
Jeffrey: Yeah. You went on the bus.
David: Bus?? I didn't go on a bus.
Me: Dolly's tour bus!! He took our photo!

So this is totally not word for word, but it's what I can recall. I got really caught up in the moment because I was totally amazed, plus I just had a bad encounter right beforehand. I actually jumped up and down. Embarrassing, huh? Yeah. I'm still embarrassed and I embarrassed my brother too, which rarely happens. David and I talked to Jeffrey and his friend Ryan for a little while. I think I made them late for helping out with the Go Center. Sorry guys! I've told this story to my family and some friends and it amazes them. I think it's so cool how God works. Want to know the most interesting part? We saw Jeffrey in two different states, but David and I don't live in either one. We live hours away, in CO, from TN and GA. I have no idea why God had us meet, but maybe we'll know in the future. God bless you guys, Jeffrey and Ryan!! You never know who you are going to meet or where you possibly might see them again. Anything can happen! This was a God-thing!! :) <3

My Testimony

Now my testimony isn’t about how I partied, did drugs, drank, or hit an extremely low point in my life. It’s not about how I was living a life of sin, but how I was living my life in fear. Also this isn’t being said to scare anyone, but in fact to make it aware to others that these things are real and could happen to anyone. Please be careful when reading this. I know some of you won’t believe it, but I am NOT lying. These things have happened to me. It’s very real and I’ve had numerous people that can testify that these things are true.

As a young child, I was very fearful many nights. I spent countless nights on my parents’ bedroom floor because I was too afraid to be alone. My parents thought that I would outgrow it, but I still sometimes have a problem. I also had a secret that I was afraid to tell anyone – I could see demons and apparitions. One night when I was maybe 8, I was in my bedroom and saw a demon in the hallway. It was a black shadow of a horse and it walked into my brother’s room. In the middle of the night, David woke up to find the 4-legged creature standing in the middle of his bedroom. He didn’t think much about it until the next day, when I mentioned that I saw a horse walk into his room. This was the first time I told anyone that I could see demonic spirits.
When I was 9 years old, I moved to London for 6 months. I lived in a very old building and things got worse. I usually saw the demons when I was all alone. My dad got frustrated because I always got so afraid. I finally got enough courage to tell my mom about what I was afraid of. She believed me and told my dad why I had been so afraid for years. Then my mom and dad could understand better. I was homeschooled during this time, so I ended up volunteering in the café of my Church basement. We got really involved in the church and I ended up giving my life to Christ on May 5^th, 2001. The demonic attacks didn’t stop there though. My mom ended up finding out about how to take authority over the demons from our Pastor. Through Jesus, we have the power to command the evil spirits to leave. One time, I was by myself in a room and a demon came in, stared at me and I screamed for my mom. My mom commanded the demon to leave in the Name of God, but the demon didn’t leave. I told my mom to command the demon to go in the Name of Jesus Christ, so she did and it left. That’s when my mom realized the power of the Name of Jesus. Strange things were happening at the church. Adults would say how they would be walking along and were slammed into a wall, even though nothing was there. One night I got to experience this for myself. I went to the bathroom. I was in there for a long time and my mom was worried and I finally came out shaking and crying. An unseen force lifted me up and smashed my face into the door area of the stall. I had red marks on my face as proof that something did happen. We went outside to calm down and started praising Jesus for being my protector, my strong tower, and the One who always loves me. We didn’t want to dwell on the bad things. I believe that focusing on Jesus helped me to forget about all this fear and attacks. I tend to forget the fact that I have been attacked so many times. God fills me with His peace and love. The only apparition that I’ve seen so far was a little girl who I wasn’t afraid of and would show up at night, always in the same place. She was outside a window of my flat. I thought it might be my sister, Kimberly, who never got to live on this earth. I told my mom and she asked what the girl wanted. It was like I could talk to her without speaking. She wanted to play with me. My mom told me to tell her to play with Jesus. I said that and I never saw her again. One day, my dad felt like we were supposed to walk around the Church 7 times like Jericho. We didn’t know why, but we got 7 friends to do it, early on a Sunday morning. Sook was 1 of the 7 and her sister was visiting from Malaysia. The sister watched and waited as we walked. When we finished, Sook’s sister saw a dark cloud of something go through the roof of the church. She immediately went inside, talked to the pastor, accepted Christ, and left Buddhism. One time, I went to get something out of my room. I stopped at the doorway because I saw demons all over my room. I walked back shaking and crying. My mom went to my room and my room was freezing and she could smell the demons. She can’t describe how bad the demons smelled, but it was the worst smell she ever smelled. We closed the door and I never slept in that room again.

When we left London, I went to Tennessee to see my grandparents. That’s where I saw a demon in the bathtub and was so scared that my mom had trouble getting me to stop shaking. My grandparents, who are not believers, thought I was going crazy. I’m glad my parents knew better than that.

Back in June, I went to bed with so much panic out of nowhere. That’s usually how I sense demons. I prayed and went to bed. The next day, my mom told me that she was attacked by a demon that looked like my dad. My dad was out of town, so it couldn’t have been him. My mom looked at the figure and could tell by just looking at the eyes, that it was a demon. He came over to my mom and put so much pressure on her that she couldn’t even talk. She kept on saying Jesus in her mind until the pressure was lifted off. Then she praised Jesus out loud. My mom called my dad and told him what happened and he was wearing the exact same shirt as the demon was. When my mom told me this, I realized that was what I sensed the night before.

Now, I sense demons, more than I see them. I haven’t been physically attacked by one in a very long time. When I do sense demons, I command them to leave in the Name and the Blood of Jesus Christ and they leave. God gives me peace to calm down and constantly shows me that He is more powerful than them. Please don’t feel scared after reading this. I don’t live in fear anymore. I just call on Jesus and He always comforts me. This may never happen to you and I’m praying that it doesn’t. I’m not asking or telling you to believe me. If you struggle with this topic, pray about it. God will reveal the answer to you. This is my testimony and it’s very real to me. Thanks for reading this!

What a true friend is...

A true friend is someone who cares just as much about you, as you care about them. They love you for who you are and don't judge you based on looks. They see the true you and wouldn't want you any other way. They will start a conversation with you, so that you don't feel like you are annoying them. I tend to start the conversations and then think I am annoying to them. Please let me know if I ever annoy you, or let me know that I don't annoy you. If I chat or send you messages/tweets a lot, it means I care SO much about you and that one day I'll be your true friend. A true friend talks to you every single day, whether it's just a "Hi" or a deep conversation, and they feel weird when they don't talk to you. They want to show that they care by texting you. It means a lot to me to get a text from a friend, not a tweet but a real text. Plus I don't give my number to random people, just people I really care about. If I gave you my number, use it. Send prayer requests or just chat. I am an encourager and will pour out my love and support to people and most of the time I feel used by it. They say thank you and then barely speak to me later. A true friend wouldn't do that. They would give love and support right back. Most importantly, a true friend encourages me to have a closer walk with God. God uses people in your life no matter if you believe it or not. When I feel the most down, I can always count on my twitter and true friends that God has blessed me with to cheer me up. They speak truth and life into me. When I find something I don't agree with, I look to God for answers. Then I pray that my friends will understand without having to go through a lot. I feel so blessed that God has placed such amazing people in my life! Sadly, YOU might never know how much I care about you!! I didn't think I would honestly care this much about people I met over the internet, but I do. I hope one day I will be considered one of your true friends, not just a picture with a name/screen name. That's the purpose of this, for YOU to see that I am more than a picture and name. I'm a person who God created and I want YOU in my life! This blog was inspired by one of my true friends and a friend who I want to be true friends with so bad. I love you all so much!! :D <3